Physician, Heal Thyself. You’ve probably heard this adage before. It means a doctor shouldn’t smoke if he advises his patients not to smoke. Another example is a doctor who tells her patients to exercise and she doesn’t. If you’re a professional who gives advice, follow it yourself. For instance, if I tell my dog training clients to practice patience with their dogs and I don’t, I’m a hypocrite. I found myself in this situation recently.
Our unreasonable expectations of a puppy
My husband and I recently adopted Mochi, an 18-month-old Shiba Inu. She belonged to a breeder. But the breeder didn’t want her to bear puppies due to her narrow hips. We asked if we could adopt her. The breeder consented and we drove home with Mochi in our car, safely in a kennel. We were happy to have an older pup. We didn’t want an 8-week-old puppy. With Mochi, we hoped to skip over the behaviors young puppies display: nipping, chewing, pulling on her leash, etc. I anticipated Mochi would be easier to train, not as stubborn, and less destructive. But after the first few weeks, she proved us wrong. And I got impatient with her.
Our puppy’s reality
She was, and still is, very skittish. Our walk-in closet is her sanctuary. Large black objects such as trucks, cars and full trash bags cause her to panic. Slippery wood floors terrify her. We’ve found holes chewed in clothing and bite marks in wood trim. She doesn’t know how to play. She pulls very hard on her leash. These were all of the behaviors we hoped to avoid. However, as I think back to when we adopted Mochi, I realized how much her world changed. We plucked her out of the rural environment she had known since birth and brought her to our urban home. She had to contend with sights, sounds and smells she had never experienced. I needed to be more patient with her.
Manage expectations – measure progress in baby steps
I recently read an article about the “3-3-3” rule of pet adoption. Newly acquired pets will feel nervous, skittish and overwhelmed for the first 3 days. Their new world looks, sounds and smells different. They may not eat much and may sleep only intermittently. Give them a safe place to which they can retreat, such as a crate in a quiet room.
During the first 3 weeks, your pet may sleep a lot, due to the lack of it in the first few days. Establish daily routines such as feeding, walking, doing their business, etc. Prepare for each of these tasks the same way at the same time every day. When getting ready to walk your dog, say “let’s go for a walk,” attach the harness and leash, and go out the same door every time. Your dog or other animal will feel some comfort knowing when each activity is happening.
At the 3-month mark, your pet knows your routines and may even remind you that it’s time to eat, walk or go outside. It will be more attached to you because it trusts you to take care of it. If at all possible, don’t make any major changes at this time. This can erode the trust already built up.
Our reality
I had to keep this in mind when Mochi wasn’t progressing as fast as I thought she should. In other words, I wasn’t being patient as I advise my clients to do so. At the time of this writing, Mochi has been with us for 6 weeks. This is certainly not enough time for her to feel comfortable.
Expecting her to conform quickly wasn’t reasonable on my part. And as a trainer, I should know this. Yet, as I talk about my own pet, reason goes out the window. Trying to think clearly about something you love gets clouded by feelings.
Practicing what I preach is harder than I thought it would be.