1. Expecting Results Too Soon.
Dogs are stinkin’ smart, and we place unrealistic expectations on them to successfully perform a behavior they’ve only begun to learn.
Think back to the time you started learning to type (on a computer keyboard, or for those of us that are slightly older, on a typewriter): could you type 80 words per minute on your first attempt? Of course not! You needed time to get comfortable with your hands in the home row position, memorize where all the letters sat, learn which finger to use for each letter and you made a LOT of mistakes. Typing required a lot of brain power at first, and you were frustrated along the way. It took quite a while to work up to a fast speed. But the more you typed, the better you got at it and the more successful you were.
Dogs also need time to process a new behavior. Let’s say you want to teach Fido to sit. You ensure he hasn’t just eaten so that he’s hungry enough to be motivated by a treat. You get him in a low distraction area of your house. You stand in front of him, facing him, and you show him the treat hidden in your closed fist that you’re using to lure him into the sit position. You place your closed fist near his nose. He keeps his eyes on your fist as you slowly move it back. You’re hoping he’ll lean his head back far enough that gravity will take over and he’ll be forced to sit, but he doesn’t naturally set his rear on the ground. You try this a few more times – sometimes he sits and he gets the treat, sometimes he doesn’t sit (no treat), and he hasn’t yet figured out the correct behavior to consistently get the treat. He looks at you as if saying, “What is it you want me to do?!” He’s frustrated because he’s not getting the treat every time, and you’re frustrated because he’s not sitting every time.
Before he gets so confused that he gives up, you should stop training for the day and pick it up again in a couple of days or next week. You’ll be surprised at how quickly Fido responds successfully once he’s had some time to mentally work out this new behavior.
Another technique to try is capturing. This is when you “catch” your dog voluntarily doing the behavior you want, then you immediately mark the behavior (using a verbal cue or a clicker) and reward the behavior (with a treat, praise, affection, belly rub, etc.). The drawback with this technique is that you must constantly keep your eyes on your dog to catch the behavior you’re looking for, and most of us don’t have this kind of time.
2. Being Unaware of Your Body Language and Voice.
Dogs are very perceptive at reading human body language and perceiving our tone of voice.
Let’s say you’re running late for work one morning but first you have to take Fluffy outside to do her business. Usually, you’re relaxed on your walks, and you allow her to sniff whenever and wherever she wants. But on this morning, you need her to move along, so you frequently, but gently, tug on her leash and plead with her, “just go already!” Fluffy detects the change in your demeanor and voice and is suddenly scared because she thinks you’re upset with her. Her ears go flat on her head, her tail goes between her legs, and she looks alarmed. She doesn’t understand that your frustration isn’t with her; she has no concept of a time schedule. All she knows is that you’re acting and sounding different and that’s scary to her. Although it’s not always possible, strive to be self-aware around your dog (myself included).
3. Acting and talking differently when your dog is scared (sort of related to no. 2).
Example: Your dog, Buster, was just startled by extremely loud fireworks; now he’s frozen in place, shaking with fear and he looks terrified. You make eye contact and go to him so you can hold him tight and calm him. You gently pet him and use a soothing voice. You’ve never cuddled him and used a soft voice when he’s been frightened in the past, so this is new to Buster. This signals to him that what scared him also scared you because you’re acting differently, and your voice has changed. Now, every time he hears fireworks, or any loud noise, he’ll be afraid, and he’ll look to you for your reaction.
Ensure that you don’t make a big deal out of the sound that alarmed Buster. Of course, you want to reassure him that everything is OK, but don’t draw attention to his reaction by changing your demeanor and your voice.
One way to work on Buster’s reactivity to loud or startling noises is for you not to react (if you’re able to). Scenario: you’re walking him on the sidewalk of a busy street and suddenly a car with no muffler screams by you. Now, you’re pretty used to this sound, and it doesn’t alarm you, but Buster jumped and is now hiding behind you for security. Another example is thunder. You know when you see lightning that thunder will soon follow. Typically, you can brace yourself for the big boom and not noticeably react to it. The more you can provide a sense of calm for Buster when loud sounds occur, you’ll notice him reacting less to them.
Still another way to mitigate the fear of loud noises is to play an audio recording of loud sounds and set it at a very low volume (almost imperceivable) while also feeding Buster several of his favorite treats. Do this a few times a day (it may take a few days) until he no longer appears to react to the loud sounds, then turn up the volume slightly and give him treats. Do this a few times a day until he appears not to react. If he seems afraid at the next loudest volume level, turn it down. Go back to the last successful volume level and repeat the process.
What you’re doing is counter-conditioning his response to loud noises. Ultimately, you want Buster to tolerate the sound of fireworks or anything loud and not react. Note: This is NOT a quick fix – this can take several weeks or months because you need to proceed very slowly and keep an eye on your dog for any reactivity.
4. Denying That You Need to Change Your Behavior.
Professional dog training will definitely help your dog behave more appropriately, but if a trainer tells you that you also need to change your behavior toward your dog, try not to take it personally. As dog trainers, we’re able to see how you communicate with your dog and how your dog reacts to you.
For example: let’s say Rover demand-barks at you, meaning when he wants something, he barks at you to get your attention. He may bark because you have food and he wants it, or he wants you to play with him, but you can’t because you’re busy cooking dinner. Normally, you would look at Rover and tell him to be quiet, or you may yell “stop!” He continues to demand-bark, you continue to tell him to knock it off, but he keeps at it.
But now your trainer says, “When Rover demand-barks at you, ignore him until he stops barking – don’t look at him, don’t talk to him, act as if he doesn’t exist. It’ll take a while for him to stop barking. When he finally stops, immediately mark the non-barking behavior with a word or clicker and give him a reward.”
Be sure to follow your trainer’s instructions. If you’re told to ignore him, but you say “hush” or “no” when he barks, you’re not ignoring him, you’re actually giving him attention. This will encourage him to continue to bark. If you consistently ignore the demand-barking, he’ll realize he won’t get anything from you (eye contact, verbal acknowledgement) and he’ll eventually quit. At that moment, mark and reward him.
You want him to realize that when he barks, he gets nothing. When he’s quiet, he gets your attention/praise/affection/treats. This process is called extinction; by ignoring Rover’s demand-barking, it will slowly disappear.
5. Becoming Frustrated When an Inappropriate Behavior Gets Worse Before it Gets Better.
A phenomenon called an extinction burst is when the behavior you’re training to get rid of noticeably increases before it decreases.
For instance, the more you ignore Rover’s demand-barking, he barks at you more frequently and more frantically. What he’s doing is trying his hardest to get you to acknowledge him. He doesn’t understand why you’re ignoring him when he used to be able to get your attention by barking at you. He thinks if he barks louder, more often and more frenzied, this will get you to look at him.
Stay strong and continue to ignore him; he’ll get the hint. If you consistently pay no attention to him when he barks and positively reinforce him when he’s quiet, he’ll realize nothing happens when he demand-barks and he’ll eventually stop.
6. Not Requiring Everyone in the Household to be on the Same Page Regarding the Dog’s Behavior.
Let’s say Mom has decided she’s had it with Princess’s jumping behavior and has recently begun collaborating with a trainer on behavior modification.
The dog trainer tells Mom, “Each time Princess jumps on you, turn your back to her for a few seconds. Then turn around to face her. If she jumps again, turn your back again. Continue this exercise until you turn around to face Princess and she doesn’t jump. Immediately mark and reward the non-jumping behavior.”
However, Dad and brother thinks it’s funny when Princess jumps on them. They laugh and don’t turn their backs to her, which only encourages Princess to continue the jumping behavior. Princess loves the attention and jumps with wild abandon, then she runs to Mom and jumps on her.
When Mom turns away from Princess due to her jumping, Princess is confused – why is OK to jump on Dad and brother but not on Mom?
By turning her back when Princess jumps, Mom is removing her attention from Princess. As illustrated by the examples in numbers 4 and 5, dogs don’t like it when their humans remove their attention from them. They’ll figure out which behavior to perform that will reengage them. The more Mom turns her back when Princess jumps, the less frequently Princess jumps on her, because Princess has figured out when she jumps, Mom takes her attention away. When Princess sits, Mom pays attention to her, so Princess is getting positively reinforced for sitting.
Dogs can’t discriminate who they can jump on and who they can’t. That’s why it’s so important for everyone in the household to turn their backs to Princess when she jumps so that a) the jumping behavior is weakened and b) Princess doesn’t get mixed messages. This concept applies to any behavior that owners want from their dogs. It’s imperative that every person behave toward the dog the same way to achieve the desired result.